SPECIAL SHOUTOUT: This is Funky Nurd's 100th post.
I just want to say that it's been a real pleasure writing for and designing this blog over the past five years. It has gone through its own evolution as I have within that short, yet long amount of time. It has been an outlet, a platform for me to express my opinions, changing and growing beliefs, and ideas. Over the years, I have started to solidify what exactly I want to blog about and I'm doing just that, incorporating elements of journalism and programming that I continue to improve on. This paralleled development between Funky Nurd and I are very profound and, well, things are just going to get better from here. Just you see. I have a lot of plans and ideas up my sleeve, so look out. I am Funky Nurd and all you Nurds who have followed me through my journey of transition, mental illness, and so much more are to await a blossoming, an evolution.
Without further ado, here is what you actually came to read about: Pop Culture in 2017.
This time of the year, I would always like to watch my all-time favorite Christmas movie, The Polar Express! It all started just about, what, five years ago (why am I asking you), well and my sister received the DVD for Christmas and insisted on watching it. Well, I couldn't disagree! The second the movie ended, I couldn't help but cry at the amazing song, "Believe" sung by Josh Groban.
The movie begins when a boy (whose name is never identified) is going to bed. Nothing unusual. He's very observant as he silently questions why his parents leave out milk and cookies for Santa and convince his sister that a Santa exists. Clearly, he's not convinced that Santa is real.
Though, in the middle of the night, he's woken up to a subtly reverberating sound of a train on tracks that never existed outside on his street. Onward, his curiosity guides him as he chooses to embark on a journey to the North Pole via The Polar Express.
If I could sum up this movie without spoiling it, I would say Tom Hanks. Hanks fills the movie with his iconic voice, and through several characters as well. He really makes the movie and fills it with the necessary nostalgia, warmth and coziness, and sentiment that the movie needs.
No spoilers here, but hope you see the movie, if you haven't already. It's truly a great family film, so maybe you can pick it for your family movie night or what have you.
That said, my favorite Christmas song (of the multitude of Christmas songs that blare throughout your house) and thus the Song of the Month is Josh Groban's "Believe", which is the motif of this movie--to not just believe in the impossible, but also to believe in oneself. So here it is, folks:
Before I forget, HAPPY HOLIDAYS to you all!! I celebrate Christmas, but Christmas is not the only holiday that's celebrated around this time. I feel like a lot of people forget that. Regardless, it's the holiday season and want all of my readers to feel welcome and appreciated.
Just an Update: I will not be blogging next week . . . at all. Not only will I be lounging around, enjoying holiday festivities, and what not, but I will also being doing my annual year in review (even though I haven't done it in several years for hiatus). That said, Year in Review works this way: I do a blog post every day, starting a week before New Years, so starting directly on Christmas Eve, and these posts are categorical, so one day will be economics this year (strictly in the US), politics, pop culture (music, literature, movies, products, etc.). Again, since I will be blogging for a whole week, that will need my undivided attention, because that's the equivalent of a month and a half of my blogging time nestled in just one week, so seven posts that would normally equate seven weekly posts. I'll be tired, but I love doing this and I hope you enjoy!
Okay, this is going to be a dense subject post; I'm just going to start off by saying that.
TRIGGER WARNING!!
I do discuss suicide, eating disorder, and several other subjects that you may not be comfortable reading. I want to provide a safe space to you all, but I don't want to leave anything unsaid or sugarcoat anything because this is my reality as a transgender woman and my story as a human being. But first, in order to establish a well-grounded safe space, I need you to trust me, know who I am, what I've gone through, what I am all about and hopefully you can relate, but hopefully you may never have to see anyone go through anything like I have or experience any of this yourself. I will acknowledge that I have faired in better conditions than most trans-women and trans people in general and I am fortunate for not only that but also the fact that I have survived and that I pass, while many of my trans fellows may not.
Additionally, I have never come out, but I also come out almost on a daily basis to strangers that I meet around campus. Though I did not feel that it was necessary to reveal to my family about my transgender identity and hopefully the future generations will follow. I mean, most people don't have to come out as cisgender or straight, so I feel I didn't have to reveal that I'm transgender.
"You want to know the formula to get in. Take out your pencils."
This is a quote from Admissions, starring Tina Fey, Paul Rudd, Nat Wolff, and Lily Tomlin. Tina Fey plays a Princeton University admissions counselor and this quote is the beginning of every speech she makes when encouraging prospective students to apply.
The thing is. I'm not exactly sure how I got into UCLA, which might come as quite a shock for you. With that said, I have no guidelines or any instructions to provide you. I just have my experiences. I emphasize my, because they are personal and unique to me. If you get into UCLA or any school for that matter, you'll find that in many ways you are similar to your peers, but you never share the same background or life or appearance. And you're not supposed to.
I have no experience with reading admissions essays, but I am completely adamant that the admissions readers could smell fabrication by the click of a button. They understand that you may have done the bare minimum to get in and they'll for sure see if you if you're catering to UCLA specifically by being the "perfect student".
I wanted to address an important issue regarding identity, multi-ethnicity, and ethnic ambiguity.
What do you think of when you see me?
Lemme guess. You probably thought that I look Indian.
Here's the problem: The problem is not that I not Indian; it's more so the fact of how people ask me what my ethnicity is.
Before I include a couple of the most questions people frequently ask me, I think it's important to note the differences between ethnicity, nationality, and race.
Ethnicity refers to a localized group of peoples that share cultural traditions, beliefs, values, etc. For example, African American refers to people who are from Africa or are descendants of African immigrants that are American citizens.
Nationality refers to one's country of origin. When I say I am American, it means that I am from, well, America.
Race has a lot to do with biology and the biological characteristics that people are inherently born with. For example, Asian people are most likely born with black, straight hair among other qualities.
Where are you from?
This question is pretty vague, This question is common, too. Many people are from different parts of the world and travel about. Understandable. It's also semi-insulting to me because my appearance makes it seem that I'm somehow foreign or not from here. By here, I mean this country. I half-expect people to think me from another nation. That is not the case; I've been born and raised in Southern California. In fact, I have never left Southern California, which makes it seem all the more frustrating to hear this question.
What are you?
I find this question especially offensive. If there is any way to ruin someone's self-esteem and de-humanize them, this is the simplest thing you could ask them. This is the question I get asked the most and even random strangers approach me, saying, "I'm sorry, I can't stop trying to figure out what you are." I'm a mystery to others, a question mark. And just because you apologize for going out of your way to ask me such a disparaging question does not make it any more appropriate to do so. I'm sure people mean well and I 100% know what about me they are referring to, but I think this question arises from ignorance, so I simply tell them "I'm human," as if assuring that I was not human before they asked me what the hell I am.
Haha, no. I mean what's your race?
This feels very true. Race and ethnicity were never
anything I saw or cared about in a person; they weren't
noticeable until people started noticing and pointing
out my differences.
I know what they mean. I do. I just proceed to tell them patiently that the way they ask them is considered impolite and that if they would like to ask for someone else's ethnicity, the should ask What do you identify as ethnically? because most of the time (even when people as for another person's race), people respond in terms of ethnicities. Or, say, Do you mind if I ask you what your ethnicity is? But seriously, What are you???? What the hell! This question is so ambiguous, probably as ambiguous as my ethnicity, that it alienates me and makes me feel like the "other".
This is the struggle of being a minority--not only as a transgender woman born in a big, multigenerational, lower-middle class family, but also as a multi-ethnic person. And by the way, I am Hispanic, Caucasian, and African-American.
If you have any questions regarding my ethnicities or if you disagree with anything I said, feel free to let me know in the comments!
If it isn't already apparent from the title, I'm reviewing Sounds Like Me: My Life (so far) in Song. I had anticipated on reading this since I heard that it came out back in 2015.
A little back story, last summer (while on hiatus from this blog), when I was starting college apps, my second wave of depression was arising and lurking around a corner. I knew where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do, but couldn't do anything. The feeling of being held back by some strong forces (e.g. family, school, etc.) is not a good feeling, and while I have yet to overcome this depression, I'm glad I had Sara Bareilles along with me. In a musical sense, of course. And there's no better way I would have preferred that.
Let me explain.
I was starting college apps and was pretty uncertain. I knew Sara Bareilles' more mainstream songs, namely "Love Song", "King of Anything", and "Brave", but that's basically it. As the school year started, I really acquainted myself with Waitress the Musical, which, if you don't know, is the musical adaptation of Adrienne Shelly's movie of the same title.
I had definitely been around when the movie came out around 2007 and had seen parts of it, but my eldest sister claimed that it was "too inappropriate" for 9-year-old me, so I wasn't exactly familiar with the plot until I really researched it, coming to find that Bareilles' most recent album What's Inside: Songs from Waitress wasn't just her singing songs from the musical, but also her singing the songs because, well, she wrote them. She discusses how this came about near the end of the book.
With that said, I acquainted myself with Jenna, the protagonist of both the musical and movie, and found myself gravitating toward her and the powerhouse song "She Used To Be Mine" (of course written and performed by Bareilles, and provided below to the right) because Jenna and I had been in the same situation more or less. Sure I had not been pregnant or in an affair and abusive relationship, but I was lost, which I would've found myself hard to admit at the time.
After discovering all of this, I'd clicked songs that were recommended on Youtube and immersed myself in as many songs I could hear from Bareilles. Of course, there are a few I'm not a fan of, but for the most part, I love the majority.
So, eventually, I got the book (because I felt that I deserved to buy something for myself after saving my money frugally for the past four years) and I wasn't too disappointed. Yeah, scratch that. I got a fucking paper cut opening up the fucking package, so besides that, everything was pretty damn good.
I'm going to start this article with the cons and finish off with the pros, so that you all end on a light note, but as you can see below, I'm giving this book a 4.5/5 hearts. Let me explain why.
Con #1: The book was incredibly short (under 200 pages)
Considering that she is a beloved singer with a lovely history and music like no other, I would have wanted more. I do appreciate, however, that she did open herself as she did; it must not have been an easy thing, as she admits within the first few pages. Her writing does justify a lot of her struggles and experiences, but I would have hoped for a bit more for someone who's written several albums and who is a five-time Grammy nominee.
Con #2: The grammatical and syntactical errors
When I'm reading, I want to know that I don't need to annotate my book when it's not obligatory. Apparently, the lack of quotation marks around song names completely passed by the editor throughout the entire novel. As a novelist myself, I intuitively feel like adjusting novels when I think my creative processes and ideas get the best of me and when I see fit. However, this book was hardly a novel and there's not much I can change when it comes to someone else's life (a.k.a. nonfiction), so I thought I was going to read pen-free. I guess I was wrong. Sure, I didn't have to make corrections, but it's really irritating when I'm reading and find grammatical and syntactical errors, so that was kind of blah.
Pro #1: She has an incredibly unique story to tell. But also, I like that it wasn't a narrative.
Reading comments on Goodreads, I have found that a lot of people prefer books with a chronological order of events, but I liked that each chapter wasn´t in that order. However, that's not to say that it wasn't organized. Okay, upon first sight, you might wonder What does "My Life (so far) in Song" even mean? I had an idea myself before I read it, but was astounded to find that it was structured such that the chapters were names of several of the songs that have influenced her the most, namely:
Each chapter is crafted with a spectacularly witty and life-altering experience that has shaped her in some way, whether that be coping with her parents' divorce, experiencing rejection after rejection from shitty people from her record company, or even a breakup (cue any Taylor Swift song here). She does not shy away from discussing her struggle with her weight, image, and self-esteem, which, she admits, still linger today, even as she is a grown woman. Yet, her
She includes the struggle of starting a new path, being lost, and being the odd one out in a seemingly singular and narrow-minded industry.
The entire layout of the chapter "Beautiful Girl" is written as letters to herself--the younger, formative, and current versions of herself. They are letters reminding herself that she is imperfect and has insecurities, assuring herself (and the reader) that everything will be okay as she accounts the experiences she had growing up at different stages of her life, kind of in the style of telling her childhood and formative and current self all of her adult wisdom.
Pro #2: She includes guest writers and pictures.
I'm not sure if this is because the struggle of writing a book eventually became real and she needed to fill pages because she ran out of content and words and laziness set in store or if she genuinely felt that her book needed guest writers to make her book seem more authentic, but I'm glad that she chose to include photos from throughout her life and the guest writers.
Guest writers include Jessica Vicker, a personal fan and friend of Bareilles; musician, singer-songwriter, and record producer Jack Antonoff; and bandmate and musical director Chris Morrisey.
These offered a personal touch to the book that couldn't be tangible otherwise. For example, Bareilles accounts her personal connection with her fans on several occasions.
For instance, Vicker mentions that no one experiences music the same way. Music is personal to the musician and the listen, who have different backgrounds, but nevertheless, the same message is felt.
Bareilles responded to this in her book about performing her song "Satellite Call" in concert: "It took my breath away when I opened my eyes to see the entire audience had held up the flashlights on their phones, creating a blanket of thousands of tiny, twinkling, swirling lights, surrounding us. . . . it felt like a symbolic exchange. Of being heard and seen. Each little light represented somebody out there who was listening, and collectively, they created a sea of stars. A sea of souls, rather, and I was honored to be among them."
So, as you may (or may not) know, June is PRIDE MONTH!! And while I could choose just any song for the returning Song of the Month, I didn't think that would fit the ticket. Fitting with the theme, I decided to just post this video by WatchMojo.com on Youtube instead to support our community and our Allies. Not many may consider Pride a holiday or even a month of celebration--particularly those not in the community--but LGBTQ+ peoples and our Allies are welcome to celebrate and what better place to start than by having some music, right?
Additionally, we think we may know a bit about LGBTQ+ history. I even thought I did and this was only debunked when I spent a weekend at UCLA for a Pride Admit weekend (for incoming LGBTQ+ students) and we played the very famous Kahoot with LGBTQ+ related questions that no one could really answer. It was pretty hysterical. With that said, here is another video by WatchMojo regarding some of the most significant events in LGBTQ+ history. It's pretty enlightening and interesting just to see that we've come a long way--from violence and drastic oppression to a standard of acceptance in society. We still have to overcome dangerous hazards and personal oppression maybe at work, at home, or whatever, but we as a world have gained acceptance, even despite some places in the world being more fundamentalist or extremist. People are going to disagree, but find a community (whether online or in your local area or school) where you are most happy; you'll need some environment to be there and support you when it may seem that others are not. Remember: most of the world is on your side. If you go to a pride parade, which you can find in many major cities, like L.A., you'll see a multitude of diverse faces of people in the community and our Allies who are with you. By going to the Women's March, I never knew that there were so many people that agreed with my ideology--many people of different shapes, sizes, shades, religious affiliations, gender identities, sexualities, disabilities, you name it! We're all here together. I support and love you!
Alright. If you guys are LGBTQ+ or somewhere in between and you are a little ambivalent about coming out or coming to terms with who you are, feel free to email me at funkynurd.aero@gmail.com so we can talk all about it. Everything will be completely confidential! I do an advice column on one of the blogs that I guest blog at, so this is like second nature. Additionally, I have my AA in Psychology, which doesn't say much, but I will also be getting my MS in Neuroscience, and with my personal experience and from witnessing other coming out stories (via Youtube and friends/family), I think I can help. I'm at a place in my life where I'm happier with my transition and LGBTQ+ identity. Being apart of this community is important. It demonstrates another aspect about yourself that makes you more and more unique. We all have our own paths to happiness and self-confidence, so I want you all to know that it's okay to take your time. No one should be pressured to come out.
Lastly, I want to tell you my coming out story . . . just not now . . . not yet. I am planning it though. I'll do a video and blog post on my transition with pictures and the whole shebang--but next June. It will be a year in the making. Since I am still transitioning, I felt it would make sense to see a complete transition during the next Pride month. Partially because that will require more time and dedication to acquire all the pictures and therapy and stuff, there is so much to say--from my discovering that I'm trans at the age of 3 or 4 to being in school to coming to terms with who I am, including depression and a hell of a lot more. I don't want my story to be all over the place. And, still, there's still so much I haven't experienced as a trans woman. I just know that UCLA will offer me the right resources to allow me to feel more in tune with myself and my body.
Here's to unusual Spring, lovely spring (and beginning May), and all that there is for hope!
Soon check out my summer plans in mid-May, as I'm still studying for my 4 AP exams for two weeks more. Wish me luck! I am not hoping for luck (though I would totally steal some if you had it =P) cuz as I learned the hard way, it doesn't exist (curse AP Psych for ruining my childhood, but besides that, Psych is the best class I have ever had so far, because it has answered many years of question!)
I am just hoping that all of the social seclusion and incessant studying (well, not incessant; let's be realistic here!) have paid off, because I don't wanna retake an exam only to pay extra money and restudy the material on top of the six exams that I'm taking next year!I've been practically studying from winter vacation with a bit of a hiatus (kinda like I've had with blogging, hahaha on my part).
My exams consist of: AP Psychology, my possible major (May 4th); AP European History, pointless class to me, consisting of an ass-oholic and sexist teacher whom I've rarely listened (fathered argued with) and benefited through self study (May 8th); AP World History, well, a class I'm not enrolled in, but self-studying included most elements of European History, so I thought, "what the hell" (May 14th); and AP Human Geography, a class taught last year by my current AP Psych teacher and connected all history to society, politics, intellect, and culture, economics (SPICE); I took the exam last year by got the lowest score possible due to insufficient studying (even though I had all the resources possible!), fostered by overconfidence (since I had an A in the class) (May 15th).
If I'm not dead by the 15th of May, I'll mention those summer plans that I mentioned earlier. Again, a lot to hope for in life, positive and negative, as both pave roads to success and general generativity.
To commemorate lovely April (which by the way, consisted of three consecutive days filled with a birthday of my sister , a proposal--not to me--but to my eldest sister, and a 30-year wedding anniversary of my parents), here are three lovely songs!
This hit song by the Australian singing/rap sensation brought her to fame.
Besides the controversy as to if the artist is "rap" or not is pure bologna when one can just listen to her songs for its own sense.
The song has attributed many parodies by people with plenty of time and Youtube subscribers apparently.
My Opinion
Personally, I'm not a fan, but my brother who absolutely loves her, replays her songs (that really don't make much sense to me) in several different ways, including ringtone, by pleasure, alarm, etcetera, etcetera.
Her butt? IT DOESN'T MATTER!! It's a butt! Whether she gets implants or whether it was miraculously natural is on her. When did media become a topic of body parts? Her butt serves as many of its functions just as the next person, which is disturbingly weird to discuss.
On another note, she should not be seen as a sexually appealed person, and I believe no one should.
