SPECIAL SHOUTOUT: This is Funky Nurd's 100th post.
I just want to say that it's been a real pleasure writing for and designing this blog over the past five years. It has gone through its own evolution as I have within that short, yet long amount of time. It has been an outlet, a platform for me to express my opinions, changing and growing beliefs, and ideas. Over the years, I have started to solidify what exactly I want to blog about and I'm doing just that, incorporating elements of journalism and programming that I continue to improve on. This paralleled development between Funky Nurd and I are very profound and, well, things are just going to get better from here. Just you see. I have a lot of plans and ideas up my sleeve, so look out. I am Funky Nurd and all you Nurds who have followed me through my journey of transition, mental illness, and so much more are to await a blossoming, an evolution.
Without further ado, here is what you actually came to read about: Pop Culture in 2017.
6-word Summary of movies and tv shows in 2017: Our discussions and diversity say it all.
Here's a list of Reboots and Spinoffs that came out this year. Let's just say that some are flops (we're talking about you Dirty Dancing) and some were considerably successful (Will and Grace, you'll suffice).
Disney has confirmed that a live-action The Lion King movie will be released some time next year and it will star Beyoncé, Donald Glover, Alfre Woodard, and Seth Rogan.
The Houston Astros have finally become World Series champs, even beating the Dodgers!
Legendary actors and singers, such as Mary Tyler Moore, Tom Petty, and singer-actor David Cassidy have died this year.
A Lord of the Rings series will air on Amazon Prime TV next year.
Hundreds of actors protested and spoke at the women's march.
#MeToo movement from vocal victims of sexual assault and misconduct.
Left: Wonder Woman, Right: Beauty and the Beast | Courtesy of Variety
Multiple actors, politicians, and businesspeople have retired or have been fired for allegations against them. Kevin Spacey, Louis C.K., Ben Affleck, Harvey Weinstein, Matt Lauer, are just several examples.
Three UCLA students were found stealing from a Louis Vatone store in China. Trump released them and then accused one of their parents of being ungrateful for his helping them out.
Leonardo da Vinci's "Salvator Mundi," his last painting is officially the most expensive painting ever sold, costing $450 million.
Mean Girls: The Musical
Greta Gerwig's Lady Bird is getting Oscar and Grammy buzz - female director, a relatable story regarding finding yourself - seems like a reasonable contender.
Stranger Things 2 and that ending? Hmm.
March 18, 2017: SNL was live nation-wide for the first time ever and you best believe no one other than Melissa McCarthy hosted.
Long-time search for the actor who will play Aladdin in the live-action movie of the popular 90s Disney movie of the same title. The movie will also star Will Smith, who will succeed the iconic genie role, originally brought to life by the late Robin Williams.
Left: The Handmaid's Tail, Right: 13 Reasons Why | Courtesy of Idobi
13 Reasons Why and the controversy associated with it - while many believed the show glamorized suicide, others argue the show accurately depicts assault, depression, high school culture, and suicide. Regardless, the show sparked conversations about teen suicide.
Fixer Upper, the HGTV home remake reality TV show is ending, according to Chip and Joanna Gaines.
Apparently, Kylie Jenner is pregnant after MONTHS of speculation following the reality TV show star and fashion icon. How she managed to dodge the questions surrounding this supposed pregnancy is beyond many. In other news, half-sister Khloé is also pregnant.
Actress Nicole Kidman gave a long, comprehensive speech regarding domestic abuse when she accepted her first Emmy for the HBO mini-series Big Little Lies.
"Donald Glover became the first person of color to win an Emmy for best actor in a comedy in 32 years," according to Buzzfeed News.
Courtesy of IMDb
Demi Lovato's documentary, entitled Simply Complicated, delves into the background of her history with drug use, relationships, eating disorder, and acting and music pursuits.
Riz Ahmed became the first Asian man to win an Emmy in an acting category.
The Handmaid's Tale received five Emmy's, including Outstanding Drama Series, which is a win for Hulu as the show is the first streaming service to win an Emmy.
Former engineer Katherine Johnson presented with actresses Taraji P. Henson (who played Johnson in the movie Hidden Figures), Janelle Monaé, and Octavia Spencer at the 89th Academy Awards.
Lena Waithe became the first black woman to win an Emmy for the comedy writing category, especially for an episode about her character coming out as gay to her family, which she wrote with actor, comedian, co-star, and Producer Aziz Ansari for their show Master of None.
La La Land won for best movie of the year at this year's Oscar's. Nope, sorry, that's fake news. It was revealed soon after by La La Land producer Jordan Horowitz, who pointed out that Moonlight actually won in that category.
Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi | The late Carrie Fisher's dog, Gary, reportedly would perk up his ears every time she appeared on the screen.
Mean Girls: The Musical | Courtesy of Youtube
Girl Meets World was canceled earlier this year and with much fan-run action to get the show on another channel or service, though Netflix, Hulu, and FreeForm have passed.
Serena Williams was pregnant when she won the Australian Open.
Emma Watson won the first ever gender-neutral acting award for her role in Beauty and the Beast at the MTV movie awards.
Ashton Sanders and Jharrel Jerome who play teen Chiron and Kevin, respectively, in Moonlight, won Best Kiss--the first queer characters to win in this category--at the MTV movie awards.
An uproar arose around destroying statues and other cultural and national memorabilia displaying offensive historians, most notably a statue of Confederate General Robert E. Lee. This did not sit well with white supremacists.
On top of being an empowering movie, Wonder Woman set the record for the most earned money at the box office for a female director ($100.5 million), upon debut. Additionally, the movie became the most searched DC character in 2017.
This arose the #MeToo movement, encouraging victims of sexual assault to share their stories, because their stories are important and justice needs to be served to their assaulters. Very vocal victims of sexual assault were on the cover of TIME magazine and featured as the person of the year in their 2017 issue.
Australia and Germany voted "yes" on same-sex marriage. Additionally, Taiwan has become the first nation in Asia to legalize same-sex marriage. That is so fetch!
Courtesy of Top Draw Inc.
The number of Syrian children dying or being forced to fight for their country has been the most they have ever been in 2016, according to a UNICEF report.
Legislation that'd ban LGBTQ+-related discrimination is being proposed by Democrats in Congress.
The Chechenya government has reportedly lynched gay man, as speculated from the disappearance of gay men. A government official justified this by saying, "You cannot arrest or repress people who just don't exist in the republic," suggesting that the Chechen government doesn't believe in gay men, as if they are Santa or a fairy tale.
LGBTQ+ men in Uganda, which had illegalized LGBTQ+ rights, and specifically Tanzania, are being violated by police and medical officials in an effort to forcibly decrease HIV/AIDS.
The fight to end female genital mutilation (FGM).
The body of a female Muslim judge was discovered by the New York's Hudson River.
Trump de-funded family planning from Planned Parenthood.
Women's March
3 times as many people protested in the international women's march than attended Trump's inauguration, according to the New York Times. Oh, snap!
The Washington Post estimates that 4,465,169 people protested internationally, with 4,157,894 or 1 in 100 Americans marching. This spanned not only in major cities but also in all states, even red states, and other nations (with about 261 sister marches occurring internationally).
6-word summary of business, economics, and STEM in 2017: Booming economy/sexual allegations slow businesses.
Scientists urge that more people in STEM should run for office and the also had a march to protest Brexit and Trump.
Apple has delayed the release of their HomePod, which is a competitor to Amazon's Echo and Google Home, until 2018.
Twitter expanded its word limit to 280 characters, a step up from the 140-character limit the site launched with.
NASA has delayed their plans to launch a rocket to 2019.
Cyperransom became a thing.
Apple patented its own pizza box design.
House Republicans passed a bill that'd dismantle the strict banking laws introduced after the financial crisis.
Youtube TV
The FCC repealed net neutrality.
Facebook has hired many people to monitor violence on their site, while companies like Uber have fired employees who have been accused of sexual assault.
Courtesy of Youtube
Twitter has developed Twitter Lite for developing nations who have slow internet connections on cheap phone devices.
Amazon has devised a system to help parents monitor their children's browsing--parental controls.
Trump has defunded family planning for Planned Parenthood.
Ikea + pet furniture = furry fun
Congress has increased funding for medical research by $2 billion.
Youtube is on the crackdown of videos that exploit children in inappropriate or suggestible situations or positions, especially with adults, even from their own site's verified channels.
U.S. wars have cost an average of $23,386 since 9/11.
Twitter has developed a bot to listen to the comments, complaints, and suggestions of their users in order to improve their site.
Google has developed AutoDraw to edit drawings and other images.
Corporate landlords are listing thousands of apartments on Airbnb.
Courtesy of Egypt Innovate
Uruguay is the first nation in the world to sell recreational cannabis.
Banks are increasing rates for taking out loans and credit cards.
In other news, for-profit colleges are beginning to suck? Did I say "beginning"? Yeah, they've been sucking since they've been conceptualized. As a result, the U.S. Education Department is converting such colleges as Kaplan University and the Art Institutes into non-profit colleges.
Women of color are booming in the cosmetics industry.
The 2017 Nobel Prize for Physics has been awarded to three scientists who discovered more about gravitational waves.
According to CNN Money, the unemployment rate is 4.1%, a record low for 84 consecutive months, the longest streak in U.S. history. Additionally, wages and inflation haven't increased as much as economists and data analysts have expected.
6-word summary of environmental phenomena in 2017: Trump says climate change isn't real?
Arctic Sea ice this winter was both thinner and scanter than ever before, approximately 8% less ice than usual.
Trump signed an executive order to stop funding for EPA's plan to limit coal-burning power plants
There have been 64,610 fires this past year, burning a total of 9,574,533, the National Intervention Fires reported. The average number of fires in this past decade is 67,940 with an average of 6,531,605 acres burning. The LA Times declares Thomas fire as "the fifth-largest wildfire in modern California history."
Hurricane Report
Hurricane Maria | Photo courtesy of WPLG Local 10
Total hurricanes: 17 -- Maria was the strongest among the top three major storms (Maria, Irma, Harvey).
This year has been the most expensive season to recover from, with more than $369.86 billion in damages.
More than 882 casualties.
This year has been one of six years to have multiple Category 5 hurricanes, with six of the hurricanes being Category 3 or higher this year.
Earthquake Report
Total casualties: 1,231
Top 5 strongest:
1) México (8.2 M - 92 fatalities - September)
2) Papua New Guinea (7.9 M - 3 fatalities) - January)
3) Russia (7.7 M - 0 fatalities - July)
4) Philippines (7.3 M - January - 0 fatalities) and Iran/Iraq (7.3 - November - 630 fatalities).
5) México (7.1 - September - 370 fatalities)
Top 5 deadliest:
1) Iran/Iraq
2) México (7.1 M - September 19 - 370 fatalities) - on the same day as the 32nd anniversary of México's previously strongest quake, the 1985 earthquake.
3) México (8.2 M - September 8 - 98 fatalities)
4) Italy (5.7 M - January - 34 fatalities)
5) China (6.5 M - August - 25 fatalities)
Earthquake in México, Sept. 7, 2017 | Courtesy of KTLA
Other Natural Disasters News*
Zimbabwe - early 2017 - severe rains and a cyclone in - 117+ casualties and thousands homeless
China - January to June - severe floods - 144+ casualties, 56 of which died in early July within just a couple of days | According to China's Ministry of Civil Affairs and the National Commission for Disaster Reduction, other natural disasters have killed over 70 more people. Overall, 1 million people have sought shelter elsewhere and approximately 31,000 homes have been destroyed.
Peru - July - unusually warm water from the Pacific Ocean, which caused major flooding - 150 casualties
Afghanistan and Pakistan - winter - avalanches - 156 casualties, especially women and children
The Democratic Republic of Congo - August - landslide - 174 casualties, leaving approximately 280 children orphaned.
Sri Lanka - May - strong rainfall and monsoon wind which caused flooding and landslides - 250 casualties and counting
Colombia - April - massive landslide - 300+ casualties | Subsequent landslides have affected many impoverished Colombian towns, which fail to come up with their own relief without international support.
Sierra Leone - August - mudslide caused by heavy rainfall and flooding - 600+ casualties
Bangladesh, India, and Nepal - summer - flooding and landslides - 1,200+ casualties
6-word summary of global politics in 2017: Time-travel (one word) to pre-Civil War is possible?
Here we go!
The Wall
Trump is still optimistic, but the experienced businessman he is, he ironically doesn't realize how unrealistic the costs to build the will are.
In other words, it didn't happen. Period.
Missile roundup
North Korea has launched 23 nuclear missiles, the first intercontinental ballistic missile (ICBM) being fired on July 4 (perfect in time for the U.S. Independence Day--nothing says "independence" than nuclear fireworks). One in September, was a "success," having reached a magnitude of 6.3 on the Richter earthquake scale and spanning over 1,000 kilometers or roughly 620 miles toward Japan. Here's a summary of the country's missile launches this year and everything you need to know, from how concerned you should be to emergency procedures. Trump responded to North Korea's unabashed nuclear threat by saying that the nation "will be met with fire and fury."
Russian Collusion
Here's everything we've found out and you need to know about the Trump administration's collusion with Russia, all in one video. You're welcome.
Terrorism
To date, there have been 1,096 attacks and 7,456 casualties internationally.
According to the Global Terrorism Index 2017 edition (you can find a PDF of this online) though it contains data from 2016. Data regarding terrorism in 2017 will be issued next year.
You can also see a visual, a map of the magnitude or amount of impact per nation, all compiled in one map.
DACA
Trump threatened to revoke DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals), which the Obama administration passed in 2012, and the benefits it offers undocumented children. Nothing has been set in stone, so DREAMers will have to wait for a decision from legislators after the winter vacation, in January. Multiple schools have provided shelters for families and sued Trump for the inconvenience that the revocation has on the families. According to an advocacy group, 122 immigrants lose their DACA protection every day.
Roundup of Politicians Who Resigned Due to Sexual Assault Allegations
1. Minnesota Sen. Al Franken (DFL)
2. Texas GOP Rep. Blake Farenthold (R)
3. Oregon Former Senator Bob Packwood (R)
4. Washington Sen. Brock Adams (D)
5. Supreme Court Judge Clarence Thomas (R)
6. Kentucky State Rep. Dan Johnson (R)
7. Oregon Rep. David Wu (D)
8. Former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert (R)
9. NY Rep. Eric Massa (D)
10. Former president George H.W. Bush (R)
11. Georgia 2012 presidential nominee Herman Cain (R)
12. Michigan Rep. John Conyers (D)
13. Florida Former Rep. Mark Foley (R)
14. CA State Assemblyman Matt Dababneh (D)
15. Illinois Former Rep. Mel Reynolds (D)
16. Majority whip for CA State Assembly Raul Bocanegra (D)
17. Alabama GOP Senate nominee Roy Moore (R)
18. Nevada Rep. Ruben Kihuen (D)
19. Arizona Rep. Trent Franks (R)
Roundup of Everyone Trump Has Fired
Here's a summary from the Washington Post. It gives a visual and reasons as to why Trump fired or threatened to fire his employees. Long story short, does he really have reasons when he doesn't really know why he's doing and talking about? Yeah, there's not as much reason as there is a tantrum.
This time of the year, I would always like to watch my all-time favorite Christmas movie, The Polar Express! It all started just about, what, five years ago (why am I asking you), well and my sister received the DVD for Christmas and insisted on watching it. Well, I couldn't disagree! The second the movie ended, I couldn't help but cry at the amazing song, "Believe" sung by Josh Groban.
The movie begins when a boy (whose name is never identified) is going to bed. Nothing unusual. He's very observant as he silently questions why his parents leave out milk and cookies for Santa and convince his sister that a Santa exists. Clearly, he's not convinced that Santa is real.
Though, in the middle of the night, he's woken up to a subtly reverberating sound of a train on tracks that never existed outside on his street. Onward, his curiosity guides him as he chooses to embark on a journey to the North Pole via The Polar Express.
If I could sum up this movie without spoiling it, I would say Tom Hanks. Hanks fills the movie with his iconic voice, and through several characters as well. He really makes the movie and fills it with the necessary nostalgia, warmth and coziness, and sentiment that the movie needs.
No spoilers here, but hope you see the movie, if you haven't already. It's truly a great family film, so maybe you can pick it for your family movie night or what have you.
That said, my favorite Christmas song (of the multitude of Christmas songs that blare throughout your house) and thus the Song of the Month is Josh Groban's "Believe", which is the motif of this movie--to not just believe in the impossible, but also to believe in oneself. So here it is, folks:
Before I forget, HAPPY HOLIDAYS to you all!! I celebrate Christmas, but Christmas is not the only holiday that's celebrated around this time. I feel like a lot of people forget that. Regardless, it's the holiday season and want all of my readers to feel welcome and appreciated.
Just an Update: I will not be blogging next week . . . at all. Not only will I be lounging around, enjoying holiday festivities, and what not, but I will also being doing my annual year in review (even though I haven't done it in several years for hiatus). That said, Year in Review works this way: I do a blog post every day, starting a week before New Years, so starting directly on Christmas Eve, and these posts are categorical, so one day will be economics this year (strictly in the US), politics, pop culture (music, literature, movies, products, etc.). Again, since I will be blogging for a whole week, that will need my undivided attention, because that's the equivalent of a month and a half of my blogging time nestled in just one week, so seven posts that would normally equate seven weekly posts. I'll be tired, but I love doing this and I hope you enjoy!
I know that by the looks of it, it may dawn upon you to think that I don't apologize and that if I do not do so, then I am cruel, arrogant, and spiteful, and willing to teach you not to be a modest human being.
NO! That is not my intention at all!
As women in the US culture (or in any culture, for that matter), we are trained to be polite and for some reason, apologize for who we are, apologize for others, and the most illogical to me, APOLOGIZE FOR SHIT WE DON'T NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR!
Have you found yourself saying sorry to someone who brushes into you when you're in your natural habitat? I'm kidding. But seriously, have you found yourself apologizing after someone brushes into you at school or work even though you did nothing wrong and the other person should have apologized instead? Yeah, me too. It is just not your fault, and you are the one to apologize?Let's change that!
There was a point in my sister's life when she would apologize multiple times in a row and then apologize for apologizing. That might be a little too severe, yes, and quite frankly, it happens, and it needs to stop!
That's why, as the year ends, I reflect on this subject. I made it my New Year's Resolution this year to stop apologizing unnecessarily and the results have been, well, satisfying. Apologizing is totally necessary and polite.
Look, I get it. It shows that you have sentiment and sympathy, but if you're apologizing for others' indiscretions, then consider how easy of a target you're making yourself seem. Yeah, you seem like an easy target, unfortunately. People may see you as prey just for being too sensitive and then take advantage of you. It's happened to me and it's probably happened to you.
My message: if you find yourself apologizing unnecessarily, catch it, consciously think about omitting the "I'm sorry", and take note of it so that next time you don't. It's a nasty habit, and as we know, habits are learned and things that are learned can be unlearned. Like learning a new skill, there requires that effortful, conscious thinking necessary for implicit thinking (a.k.a. doing activities, like driving home from work, without thinking about it). For example, when I taught myself to brush my teeth with my left hand, I had to think about each brush stroke and where I was inserting that brush in my mouth. Soon thereafter, I would pick up the brush, apply cheap toothpaste, and insert the brush in my mouth with my left hand without thinking about it. I trained my brain to just do. Apologizing and conversely not apologizing (for unnecessary purposes, that is) can also be trained.
This Buzzfeed video pretty much sums up me and countless other women.
The lesson: STOP APOLOGIZING. To be a confident, assertive person in this world, it's okay to apologize for hurting someone's feelings or inconveniencing them in some way that would affect their motives, plans, or beliefs. Otherwise, don't apologize. Don't apologize for voicing your opinion in class, in a meeting, in public. Don't apologize for apologizing. If you know you're going to apologize for no apparent reason at all, consciously tell yourself not to and to say something else instead.
I guarantee your message will still be understood without an apology interrupting what you have to say.
Amidst finishing up my novel for NaNoWriMo (that I essentially didn't finish--more on that later), undoubtedly, I wanted to curl up in a ball on my bed and just watch Youtube videos and productivity shoots way down and subsequent long-term disappointment escalates.
1. I'm not good enough
I learned this relatively recently, and it's so true; it's something I have to remind myself not to think and say to myself because personally, I groan at the thought of doing something I feel I don't have potential for--whether that's a relationship, a hobby, or even a job.
When school and/or work gets in the way, it's kinda hard to get in your creative mindset, that when a time arrives to do something fun, you prefer to sleep and catch up on Netflix shows instead. What's productivity when you have a console or software that has all of your favorites in a selective mode?
You're setting yourself back and ignoring all the possibilities that could be with this attitude. You honestly don't know if you're good enough until you put yourself out there and stop comparing yourself to the other people who may or may not have made you believe that you're not good enough.
2. This bed is so comfortable
I don't know about you, but as soon as I rest on a very comfortable bed or couch or . . . floor (if I'm very desperate and tired), I tell myself that maybe a quick nap would do me best. And next thing I know it's time for my class--on the next day. And I panic because I did shit for homework, I didn't wash up, and now deja vu sets in.
My suggestion: If you're going to take a nap, or if you're already in bed, IMMEDIATELY set a timer for 10-25 minutes. I know. 10 minutes sounds like so little time. But, in essence, unless you want to fall into deep sleep after 30 minutes and have your body paralyzed, only for you to wake up in a state of a panic because you accomplished nothing, I suggest 25 minutes max. Once you're in deep sleep, there's no going back (well, yes, you can, because that's the cycle in "sleep cycle", but you know what I mean--hopefully).
So set a timer and get up accordingly; the latter will take quite a bit of will-power, but it is manageable if you're willing to put in the effort.
Even a 25-minute nap can boost productivity; it's enough. After all, a nap is better than no nap.
As soon as you're up, wash your face and get to work.
3. Five more minutes
Chances are, you wish you had more time. I personally experience this weird juxtaposition of loathing how long the day feels, yet I wish I had more time to get shit done.
Chances are, you just don't want to start the day . . . yet.
That's fine.
Setting up an alarm an hour earlier than you usually wake up changes your routine a little bit and offers you an extra hour to get your shit together. Additionally, refusing to hit that snooze button requires a lot of will-power to get done, but it is manageable. If you could avoid the snooze button altogether, your alarm wouldn't be so annoying, now, wouldn't it?
4.It's too late
Have you heard the expression "better late than never"? Yeah, well, I believe it's true. It's like saying "better to try than to not try".
Would you rather think what if's? Perhaps this is a bad justification.
You'll be surprised how flexible and accommodating deadlines could be, depending on the circumstances. Sometimes, supervisors or bosses or professors, if you're on their good side, can do you a favor past a deadline.
In terms of things outside of school and work, it's never too late if you don't do something about it when you get the chance. The entire movie and book of Something Borrowed could have been hashed out in several minutes if Rachel had just told Dex how she felt in law school instead of six or so years later, when he had been engaged to her best friend. You seriously have to have read the book or seen the movie to understand this, but it looks something like the gif below of Rachel McAdams in The Notebook. There too is a rain scene in which Rachel, in a panic, says that she shouldn't have left the bar that single-handedly started the broken relationship between Darcy and Dex. He responds that it's too late. Well, no it's not too late, Dex because you could call off the wedding with Darcy and deal with the consequences because you're too scared. Plus, you don't have to marry the person you're engaged to, even when you're at the altar.
Rachel thought that she wasn't good enough in law school for Dex to even notice or even be attracted to her. See where these excuses took her? Apparently, they took her to an affair and, well, I'm not spoiling much because they affair happened within the first twenty minutes of the movie.
I think you could tell that I'm a bit bitter about Something Borrowed. And you're right; I am. That's why it's one of my favorite movies.
5. I'll do it later
Will you? Will you really? Yeah, you ain't gonna do it later.
6. I can't.
I don't claim to know your circumstances. Many times we feel inhibited by our age, gender, race, ethnicity, disability, sexual orientation, whatever the case may be. I simply can't deal with myself saying this; I've said this so many times, particularly when I was younger. There are still so many times that I say this now. . . as an adult because I have drilled it into my head that I have insurmountable limits. For example, I don't drive, so it gets pretty fucking shameful when I have to ask my siblings or dad to drive me places because I don't want to seem like a burden to them. That said, there are times when they won't take me anywhere because they're pissed at me or because of their schedules. I could take an uber and risk spending money I don't have or I could learn to drive, neither of which I really want to do. Other times (a majority of the time), I don't have access to Wi-fi. If that speaks to you as well, well, welcome to the club, honey.
It's hard not to say "I can't". I understand. But think of the many people who have pushed boundaries and achieved what many people thought they could not do: It's perseverance; it's discipline and tenacity. It's any movement that has existed in this world. Not procrastination, giving up, or not even starting.
7. I don't want to
This is, I believe the simplest excuse someone could make, and it probably encompasses all of the other excuses one makes because if you really cared about something, you'd prioritize it instead of doing it later or saying that it's too late. "I don't want to" essentially says everything from "I don't want to now" to "I don't want to ever." There's a spectrum.
Getting out of your comfort zone is a good thing. As for sex, though, I don't want to means what it means and everything should stop right there; there's a fine line between "Let's do this" and "I don't want to".
When it came to writing my novel, it never seemed like a good time to buckle down and type at it, because life and school got in the way, even though I did actually have enough time to finish it. I just apparently didn't want to do it at those moments.
Did you agree with any of these excuses? What other excuses do you make and what do you advise we do to resolve them?
A year ago today, Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life was released on Netflix.
I had been anticipating on the Gilmore Girls revival because I had grown up with the series and wanted to not only find out what the last four words creator and writer Amy Sherman-Palladino had anticipated on ending the show during its original run, but also see how time his treating the characters and how they have developed in the past ten years since we had last seen them in Stars Hollow.
There have been so many disappointments with the revival, primarily regarding how it was written and shot, more than how the characters turned out. Inevitably, good characters falter; us real people do as well. We have our bad times and our good; we have the times when we're figuring things out and reevaluating our lives, which was the premise of A Year in the Life.
You might be asking: Joss, why are you barely posting this a year later?
Well, I wanted to parallel a year in their lives with a year in my life and evaluate how life is treating me so far. What have I accomplished in a year? And all that jazz. So I watched an episode per season and was content and inspired after each one. Additionally, I'm surprised that I was patient enough to actually wait for the seasons to pass to finally finish the revival.
Here is "Reflecting Light" by Sam Phillips. You might recognize it from the very ending of the revival, during which, SPOILER, Luke and Lorelai finally get married (took them their sweet ass time), but right before the much anticipated final four words are revealed. You might also recognize it from Liz's wedding in Season 5, where you could see Luke and Lorelai dancing. Full freaking circle. Right?
Anyways, the song is reflective, nostalgic, and romantic and has helped brainstorm and clear my head whether on the bus or just walking back to my dorm.
How have you changed in the last year? Let me know!
I spoke with Ana Ortiz and Mark Indelicato who both starred in Ugly Betty as well as Judy Reyes from Scrubs.
On the topic of the accusations against Harvey Weinstein and sexual assault, Reyes said, “I think we’re all literally haunted, constantly every day. It’s been a hard reality in our lives, all of our lives, particularly people of color.”
Ortiz added, “Especially women and anyone in the LGBTQ community.”
It is a reality that women are disproportionately victims of assault, but particularly women of color and those in the LGBTQ+ community, like transgender women who are often killed or brutally assaulted.
“I’m [. . .] happy that action is being taken, and that it’s been swift, and that so many people continue to speak out; [there’s] strength in numbers,” Reyes said.
Ortiz said, “I think it’s our turn to feel emboldened. I think the predators have felt emboldened for so long, and they have [gotten away with it]. And now I think we’re seeing that they can’t if we recognize our own voice and our own power. And I think that these people who are coming forward and tonight is a testament to it that we’re not going to be quiet, we’re not going to be silent.”
From left: Judy Reyes, Mark Indelicato, me, and Ana Ortiz
America Ferrera, star of the eponymous show Ugly Betty, recently took to Instagram to reveal that she was assaulted at the young age of nine. Her former cast mates told me that they are “of course” supporting her.
“She’s so eloquent, so well-spoken; she’s such a good spokesperson for whatever it is that she puts out there. She’s just one of those people that you want to watch and stand next to, and hold her hand,” Ortiz said.
They said that we need people like Ferrera be the foundation of acceptance and support for our future children and the next generation. Reyes and Ortiz, whose children are friends, admit that they try to instill these values in their children, especially when it comes to accepting our transgender peers.
Recently, on Good Morning America, Blake Lively (Ferrera’s BFF and fellow Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants alumna) said that we can’t just tweet about sexual assault; we need to be actively supportive of victims. “But it’s more than just like we’re talking about it and we’re supporting it; it’s action. Everybody says that they stand in solidarity, but you have to show that you stand in solidarity.”
Indelicato said besides tweeting, “being an ally is as important as coming forward, and those that are coming forward have nothing to gain and nothing to lose, and they have to know that they have a community around them that is standing in solidarity with them. I think that that is what emboldens survivors or victims to come forward." He added, “I think that having a strong community to stand in solidarity [with], that’s really the kind of crux of all of these social movements that we’re seeing today, the idea of standing in solidarity with one another [and] strength in numbers.”
Sexual assault and the conversation of sexual assault is not a new concept, nothing new. It happens every day and will unfortunately still occur.
It is a frequent occurrence in the entertainment industry, especially with young, aspiring actresses who are at the start of their career, though assault does not discriminate against any industry. Regardless of age, men and women are harassed; however, the younger or less experienced (in terms of the work field) a person is, the more vulnerable they are to assault from their male co-workers and higher-ups. And even worse, their stories may not always be believed because people with more power silence them and use their power to their own advantage.
Actress Ellen Paige has commented on sexual abuse in the media: “Look at the history of what’s happened to minors who’ve described sexual abuse in Hollywood. Some of them are no longer with us, lost to substance abuse and suicide. Their victimizers? Still working. Protected even as I write this. You know who they are; they’ve been discussed behind closed doors as often as Weinstein was.” Such celebrities as Rosanna Arquette justify this by claiming that people like Weinstein have ruined their careers, and this happens all the time when there’s a power dynamic involved. Former child actor Corey Feldman has publicly spoken out about the substance abuse and subsequent suicide of friend and actor Corey Haim, who is just one of the many examples of actors as described by Paige. Asia Argento, one of Weinstein’s victims, expressed to The New Yorker that Weinstein forcibly performed oral sex on her and she had not spoken out until now because “I know he has crushed a lot of people before. That’s why this story -- in my case, it’s 20 years old; some of them are older -- has never come out.”
Vocalizing sexual assault does not come easy to the victim, especially when there are power relations and a clear superiority complex that invalidates or at the very least not prioritizes the stories of the assault victims. One such example includes one of Weinstein’s victims, model Ambra Battilana Gutierrez who actually did go to NYPD in 2015 to accuse Weinstein and they sent her to record a confession from him. Despite voice recording evidence, which revealed Weinstein admitting his assault to Gutierrez and forcibly coaxing her into his room, the police deemed the evidence as not substantial. She and other women eventually signed a non-disclosure agreement so that their accusations would not make it into the press. A lot of actresses or just women in general are too afraid to jeopardize their career and any other possible opportunities if they do not comply to their assaulters. However, this was not an issue for Gutierrez who courageously and intuitively went to the police, only to be ignored and silenced.
The allegations against Weinstein remain remarkably similar to each other. These allegations include how he would isolate his victims, proposition them, ask them to massage him, touch them in vulnerable areas, or overtly masturbate in front them. Sickening, right? Isolation, sedation, and coercion are common tactics when it comes to assault. Bill Cosby, who also had a lot of rumors speculating him that happened to be true, would drug his victims as well.
The idea of Harvey Weinstein being, for lack of a better word, a perv, is not a new idea either. And numerous jokes have surfaced over the years, suggesting that this had been a rumor. The most notable joke includes the 2013 Academy Awards, in which Seth MacFarlane joked, “Congratulations you five ladies no longer have to pretend to be attracted to Harvey Weinstein.” MacFarlane has recently noted that the joke was predicated on Jessica Barth’s accusations against Weinstein.
According to Ana Kasparian from The Young Turks, a progressive Youtube broadcast news channel, “He got away with it for so long--for decades! And what’s amazing was that it was like this dirty little secret.” Quentin Tarantino admits that he had known about this secret about Weinstein and his reputation for harassing women and regrettably so.
In a recent interview, he said, “I knew enough to do more than I did. . . . I’m calling on the other guys who knew more to not be scared. Don’t just give out statements. Acknowledge that there was something rotten in Denmark. Vow to do better by our sisters.”
He calls himself out and apologizes for not using his power and voice to prevent other women from experiencing this assault in the industry, especially as his past girlfriend, Maria Sordino, was assaulted by Weinstein herself.
Through Tarantino’s confession and Terry Crews (among other male celebrities who have admitted to being assaulted), we are continuously recognizing that sexual assault is not just a woman’s issue; it is a human issue that affects our brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers and aunts and uncles and nephews and nieces and friends alike, whether we are victims, supporters of victims, the voice of the victim, the ear for the victim, or the witness.
Rape culture is essentially the perpetuation of silencing women who have been assaulted and encouraging boys and men to objectify and violate women. If we do not actually educate young men and women, the new generations, about consent, STI’s, and recovery and support, “locker room talk” will still be a thing, men and women’s stories will still not be believed while the perpetrator gets away with a “get out of jail free” card. A lot of this silencing actually may take decades to come out.
At Elle’s Women in Hollywood event mid-October, Reese Witherspoon, for example, discussed, “I have my own experiences that have come back to me very vividly and I have found it hard to sleep, hard to think, hard to communicate. A lot of the feelings I’ve been having about anxiety, about being honest, the guilt for not speaking up earlier or taking action.”
She continued, “And I wish I could tell you that that was [the only] incident in my career [when assaulted at age 16], but sadly, it wasn’t. I’ve had multiple experiences of harassment and sexual assault, and I don’t speak about them very often, but after hearing all the stories these past few days and hearing these brave women speak up . . . the things that we’re kind of told to sweep under the rug and not talk about, it’s made me want to speak up and speak up loudly because I felt less alone this week than I’ve ever felt in my entire career.”
We still live in a reality when women are silenced and accused of seducing men as if men are uncontrollably impulsive and weak in the knees for some female skin. The irony in this argument is that men are usually depicted as strong and authoritative; however, in the court of law, they can be seen as weak as we justify that they couldn’t help themselves. And let’s not get started on Brock Turner.
Let’s be real, Weinstein is a grown man; he knows what he’s been doing, even though he denies the allegations of 13+ victims. First of all, the numbers are climbing; don’t deny that, Mr. Weinstein. Second of all, the fact that you think you could get away with it is deplorable. You’re just an older bully, the way you lure and trap women, then provoke their dignities and prey on their vulnerabilities. Though he has been fired from his own company, The Weinstein Company, he and his team claim that he “resigned,” which says a lot about how he likes to sweep things under the rug.
If a rapist doesn’t take accountability for his or her actions, they must consider not only what they have to live with, but what their victim(s) has/have to live with for the rest of their lives. These experiences are not forgettable and correlate with numerous long-term mental, emotional, social, and even physiological effects.
So Weinstein did us a favor. We’re talking about sexual assault by the masses now. We’re having discussions about this issue because they greatly violate our bodies and cause us much trauma, anguish and more.
If you’re a sexual assault victim and you’re ready to come out, use the #metoo. We need to hear YOUR story and if you’re not ready, take your time, but do not give your harasser the power they get off on. We need other victims who may not know that there are other victims out there to know that they are not alone; their experiences are very common.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit these resources for more information: End Rape on Campus (http://endrapeoncampus.org), Know Your IX (https://www.knowyourix.org), National Sexual Violence Resource Center (https://www.nsvrc.org), and RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) (https://www.rainn.org).
This is a continuation of my UCLA College Talks series and as you may know, the UC application has already opened this past Monday, November 1, 2017.
Instead of worrying you with "the clock starts clicking" and all of that, I want to give you an idea of what to expect when applying to the Universities of California.
Here are a few things I will repeat throughout the article: 1) You can edit any of the info you include in your application at any time before you turn in your application. Otherwise, you will have a complicated time trying to reach admissions, which is a possibility; 2) the UC's have a holistic admissions process, meaning that they are competitive to apply to, but they won't reject you for stupid reasons or even just one tiny reason. They look at all aspects of your application and consider everything as whole.
Basic Info
First thing's first, your basic info--legal name, address, phone number, etc.
You will also be asked about your residency. As you may or may not know, the UC's are on in-state, out-of-state, and international basis. They primarily accept applicants from in-state or who have lived in California for at least 3 years. Such people would be residents and should they choose to accept one of the UC's admission offers, they will pay in-state tuition. Otherwise, you would not be a resident.
Additionally, you will be asked about your citizenship and social security info. If you are an international student, you will be asked about other documents.
Campuses and Majors
Next, you get to choose the UC's you want to apply to. You can apply to as few as one of the eight undergraduate UC's (UC San Francisco is a graduate school and is the ninth UC) or as many as all eight of them, though be wary that if you get free/reduced lunch or qualify for other any other indicator that suggests that paying for application will pose as a financial hardship, you will only be able to apply up to four exams for FREE; any number of schools after the four free ones you apply to will cost you some dough you may not want to spend. You can change which schools and the number of schools you apply to.
MAJORS!!
Okay, don't freak out! You don't have to worry about which major you want to declare just yet. You have until the end of your second year to choose a major, so if you don't know what you want to do (or conversely, if you're like me, and you have too many interests), you can put undeclared. There's this misconception that colleges don't like when prospective students put that they are undeclared. That's dumb. Again, the UC's have a holistic process. As long as you justify why you are undeclared in your essays, you're as solid as this guy right here:
Also understand that some majors are MORE selective and may require a supplemental application, which is an application on top of the UC application, which is even more time-consuming. You will have to choose these selective majors as your FIRST choice major in order for your supplemental application.
If you have more than one major that you may be interested in, you will have the opportunity to choose an alternate major for each school. If you get into any of the UC's you may not get in for your first choice major and instead for you alternate major due to the capacity of people or how impacted the major is. This can be changed once you attend the school--if you choose to attend the school. Additionally, if your first choice major is selective as I mentioned above, and you have an alternate major, and you don't get in with your first choice major, you won't even be considered for you alternate major. You just get in with that major or not.
You may need to take a breather after this part of the application. Please do so. In the meantime, check out this guy right here:
Ain´t he cute? I know, huh?
Scholarships
Very briefly, you will have the opportunity to apply up to 16 scholarships, which you will be considered for if/when you get your acceptance letter.
The categories include academic major/interest; affiliation with group, program, or organization; career plans; ethnicity, national origin, or religion; health/disabilities; miscellaneous; school or geographic affiliation. Check the boxes if you feel they apply to you.
More Info About You
To be fair, all of the application is info about you . . .
So to be specific, this part of the application has to do with what languages you speak (your 1st/2nd spoken languages and which you frequently speak) as well as if you're independent or dependent, if you have served in the U.S. military, if you are or have been in the foster system, etc.
You will be asked about your parent(s)/guardian(s) and their jobs and educational background.
Academic History
You will be asked about what schools you have attended and when, the school's grading system (ABCDF, %, etc.) as well as its term system (quarter, semester, trimester, etc.), and all of the courses you've taken throughout your secondary education, what grades you had received in these courses, and whether or not they are honors/AP or not. Each year must try to fit the A-G requirements.
Please, please, please include summer courses you have taken, courses you have taken at other colleges/institutions, and courses that are in progress for your term at these schools/institutions.
Here's a tip: Don't lie. If you get accepted into one or more of the UC's, they will eventually ask for your transcripts to ensure that you're not BS'ing them. So have an excuse prepared if you do choose to lie about your grades to look better in your application. Warning: they will eventually find out, so you best tell the truth, even if you're not proud of your grades. I personally wasn't proud of most of my grades. I got two D's, several C's, and primarily A's and B's and I still got into UCLA, so please calm down.
Understand that grades don't define you.
Activities, Awards, Educational Programs, Volunteer/Community Service, Work Experience, Etc.
Besides the essays, which I will eventually get to, this is probably the most cumbersome portion of the application. I would suggest compiling all of your awards or in my case, all of my one award, and a list of everything you've done extensively. You can only put up to five activities per subsection. So, for example, you will only have to choose up to five volunteer/community service activities you have participated in, up to five awards, etc. So choose the ones that best represent you. You can eventually write an essay justifying these experiences to demonstrate that you weren't participating in stuff just to get into college and instead have a degree of passion in these activities and experiences.
If you haven't participated in much, that's okay too, considering your circumstances. Otherwise, if your school does offer a lot of clubs, activities, and such and you don't really participate or participate for a minimal amount of time, it'd be best if you didn't include this in your application unless you can defend that there's passion in this activity or experience.
You will have to indicate when you participate in each activity or program or when you received your award as well as the frequency of participation in hours and weeks.
Test Scores
SAT/SAT Subject Test scores, AP, IB, TOEFL or IELTS or other international external exams. This is pretty self-explanatory.
I do have a tip though: Show your good scores and your "bad" scores. The UC's don't want to see how perfect you are. After all, there's no perfect student. They want to see that you're able to fail and recover. They also want to see that you challenged yourself with collegiate material by taking an assessment. Taking an exam [and passing or failing] is a better indicator than not taking the exam at all.
Submission
I turned mine in on November 29th even though I could have well turned it in earlier. Don't worry. UC's don't judge you based on when you turned; they'll just judge you based on what you turned in.
My journey will not replicate yours and that is a fact. 100% affirmative.
Understand that it's not the worst case scenario if you don't get in.
What I am sure of is that I turned in my application, which is significantly better than not turning in my application, because, well, I wouldn't have found out if I had gotten in or not. And thank Mark Wahlberg's third nipple I did, because I'm actually going. I'm sure you have all heard of this quote, which at this point may sound like a cliché, but I claim to be a proverb: "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take." ~Wayne Gretzky
